0 To 1 Month: Mommy's a Moo Cow

October 12, 2013

Dear Alice & Evan

We survived the first month and boy it went fast! The day you turned one month old we took our first outing (Outside!) to walk on the ridge. It was a beautiful fall day. We planned your feedings accordingly but by the time we got home (half an hour later) you were hungry again.

THE FOOD SITUATION: You guys are always hungry and it feels like all we do is feed you. Sometimes I let you nurse for over an hour because I am so nervous about you not eating enough. Sometimes it's because I end up falling asleep and you do too! Some days you even want to eat every 2 hours, instead of 3, and then Mommy spends an hour on one of you, switches to the next, and spends all day just going back and forth. Evan, you are the better eater and a lot quicker. You are also the loud, impatient one and I hate to say it but you were often the first one to eat because your sister was so patient. Alice, you liked to take your time and really enjoy the breast shield because you don't like Mommy's let down. 

THE SLEEP SITUATION: After you eat you sleep, and sleep, and sleep. Alice loves to sleep and cuddle the most. Evan is our independent little guy. You are sharing a crib right now and sleep on squishy pillows on the floor during the day. The swaddling thing worked for just a couple weeks but both of you just wanted so badly to have your arms free we quickly gave up with the burrito wrapping. 

The best times are when we get a couple minutes where you are awake and quietly observing the world. Evan loves to look around the most, even from day one he was this way, and he mostly loves to look up. Everyone is shocked by how far back your head can bend! Alice is the best at working through a million facial expressions in the least amount of time. It is thrilling and amazing to all of us!

You guys are both very good babies, easy to soothe and please. Between tag team feedings at night Mommy and Daddy can allow each other almost 6 full hours most nights. There have been a couple nights of no sleep at all, but they are few and far between so we don't mind. You guys are definitely learning patience right away! Although you are both easy to soothe sometimes we just can't get to you right away. Sometimes one of you cries the entire time we are feeding your sibling. Mommy and Daddy have a stash of earplugs in the nursery for such an occasion. I still am not brave enough to try dual feeding as you guys are so small and hard to keep latched on, but maybe I will with the next set of twins. Kidding! All in all, with the help of amazing grandparents we have survived the first month. Daddy is counting on the crying to peak at 6 weeks so we will see how things remain. I remember thinking it was going to be harder... Still, there are days when it is hard, but you guys are worth the trouble! Besides, these bad days have a way of slipping quickly from my memory.

We had lots of doctor appointments this month. Too many!! You know the story of the first week but things remained fairly busy. We saw public health nurses, physiotherapists, and Dr Wong. We were concerned about jaundice for a few days, hip displasia from breech presentation, latching problems, head shapes (and still are), crossed eyes, blocked tear ducts, and being on the very low end of the growth percentile chart. 

You had lots of grandparent time and met Auntie Lindsay and Uncle Dave, amongst other visitors! Everybody wanted to see you. You will never know the extent of all the people in our lives who were so excited for your arrival! You were both so tiny during his time some people thought they would break you, especially Evan. We even had to borrow some preemie clothes as most of the newborn outfits drowned you. Alice, you did ok with the newborn size of clothing, and you looked really cute in yellow. Evan looked great in blue. Mommy and Daddy like dressing you in sleepers the best as they are easy on and off. Zippered ones are even better!

Nana and I did a couple of photo shoots with you guys this month. Probably not enough, retrospectively. Often you would not cooperate as one of you was always hungry or tired and the other one was being perfect. You liked to switch these roles up each time. Still, we managed some good shots. And a couple laughs at the awkwardness of posing floppy babies.

The month has been a rollercoaster! We were terrified bringing Alice home in the car when we couldn't see her in the car seat and learned how to do it better when it was Evan's turn. We were over the moon when we finally got both of you home, together. We were exhausted but never weary of caring for you. We oohed and awed a lot, you were both so cute. We marvelled at all the ways you were different. We called Evan Nosferatu and Voldemort because you slept stiff and went pale white. We called Alice marshmallow baby because you were so squishy and cuddly compared to Evan. We love you both and cant wait for the next month and milestone.

Weights: Evan 6.8lbs Alice  7.9lbs

NICU Keeps Us Moving

Well This is my third go at this post because the new blog app doesn't save... Annoying! But we'll give it another try. I apologize for any redundancy as it has been so long since my last post. 

So, as was mentioned, little Evan was zipped off to the NICU as soon as he came out. Despite a top rated apgar his sugar was low and they knew he would need an incubator to help maintain his temperature. He was a scrawny little guy, with little body fat. Tiny little limbs and neck with wrinkly old man skin. Despite being mostly to term he still needed to stabalize and gain some weight before he was able to come home. After spending time in the recovery room I was wheeled over to the NICU for a quick visit with my little man. Still holding Alice on my chest I got to see the little guy oh so breifly and hold his little hand. I wish I had been able to cuddle him and take him with us, but unfortunatley that was all I would see of him until I was mobile the next afternoon. Although it was easier to care for only one baby that first night in my post op drugged up state I felt sad and guilty that I was not able to be with both of them. 

So almost 24 hours after his birth I finally got to go see and hold my guy. Day one when we saw him in the NICU he was still in his incubator, but stable enough to take out and hold. Cradling the little guy he barely stretched from palm to elbow and compared to Alice seemed so tiny. He was small to us, but when compared to the other babies in the ward, not so much. He technically wasn't a preemie because at 36 wks and 5 days he was practically considered full term. Still, I had to remind myself that on the grand scale of babies they were both still considered small for their age and Evan barely fit on the percentile graph. Luckily, because he was full term his organs were all developed and normal and he just needed some time to catch up to his sister. The only other intervention was that he had a gavage tube down his nose as he needed to take a certain volume of food to keep his sugar levels up and he couldnt manage an entire bottle (1 TBSP) just yet. There was some brief talk of IVs, but they decide to wait and see how he did overnight. I really was praying for no IVs.

Right from the get-go he was interested in his surroundings, alert and looking around, wondering if there might be a boobie for him even though he'd hadn't seen one yet. Despite the difficult breast feeding with Alice and the recovery nurses being a pain in the butt I found Evan knew exactly what to do and I just felt so relaxed and confident with him; no crazy nurses here to man handle us. He sucked really well for about half an hour getting out the NORMAL fractions of a milliliter of colostrum. We also fed him by bottle some donated breast milk and gavaged the rest of the meal when he couldn't finish it. After eating we could cuddle. I loved cuddling him in the first few days. He would nuzzle up to my chest and just pass out like he belonged there, his NICU onesies hanging like a sleeping bag around him because he was just that small. This was where having two babies was hard. Deciding where to be, who to spend your time with, who to feed... It was a little emotionally taxing but I did feel better knowing that either Matt or Nana was with the other one. I could not have done it without their help. So we spent this day back and forth between the two babies, feeding, cuddling, and doing general mommy stuff. 

Day two in the NICU and Evan hadn't improved much. He was still needing the gavage and the incubator, but he also hadn't declined and needed an IV placed during the night. I'll take that news any day of the week. He was still being a breast feeding super star for most of his feedings and taking most of the bottle just fine when I wasn't around. Though he had to go 24 hours without needing the gavage before they removed it. During the night they had used it so we were  back to square one with that. Here it was hard to aceept that I couldn't be present for every feeding, had to look after my little girl too! A small part of me felt that if I had just been around to feed him then he wouldn't have needed assistance that night. It was hard to accept my limitations. The thing that made it easier now was that Alice and I were getting discharged. We were finally able to get the babies together. I know I've said it before but it was crazy! Two babies! 

The rest of the day we spent in the NICU cuddling both of them, managing to feed both of them, and enjoying having the family together for the first time. But it had been a long day and eventually we had to leave to go home. Our poor little guy, all alone. It seemed so unfair. The next day I had to admit to myself that I needed to finally get some sleep and take it easy. It was a very hard decision to make and even though it made sense I felt very bad for not going. I was sore from the c-section and not hopped up on drugs yet and my breast were engorged and painful as well. There was myself to take care of AND Alice who was just settling in at home. Again, super Dad to the rescue and he went back to the hospital to hang out with Evan. I was feeling particularly blessed to have a husband who had taken so strongly and wonderfully to parenthood as Matt had. 

That was my only day of rest. I started pumping milk out like crazy to give to Evan, to anyone who would take it up to him, bless them. I also started drugging myself up with a tylenol/ibuprofen concoction so we could pack little Alice up in the car, go up to visit Evan and get in as many feedings as possible, come home to grandparent dinners, and throw in all the pain in the butt Alice doctor appointments and public health visits to boot. I could have done without those at the time. It was hard but we were doing it somehow, all the while still feeding Alice at home throughout the nights. I envied, just a bit, the other NICU moms who got to leave their babies in the capable nurses hands and go home and rest. Though I'm sure they would have given anything to have their babies at home. A part of me wonders if it was easier to settle one baby in at home first and then bring home baby number two... Or would it have been better to just have them both at home from the get go and not have to head up to the hospital everyday... We shall never know. 

Anyway, Evan started doing great and after the first 48 hours really improved quickly. He was out of the incubator and the next day without his gavage tube and eating well. His jaudice became questionable but because he was eating enough he was able to flush the bilirubin out on his own and forewent light therapy which would have pushed his stay to another day. We were trying not to be too optimistic on his projected home date. I was hoping for the weekend or at the latest the next Monday, but when we went for our Tuesday visit they told us to bring our car seat to see if his SpO2 level would remain stable while he sat in it and if all was well we would get him on Thursday morning! Well, that was just the best news ever! My heart goes out to the moms who have babies there for months, it must be so hard. So Thursday afternoon we brought little Evan home at just over 4 lbs. Finally our family was together and still we had TWO!! 

Hospitals Are Not My Cup of Tea

So I was pretty out of it the first couple hours after the c section. I know there were grandparents there gooing over Alice, who was in the room with me. But my gosh, it was pretty much impossible to keep my eyes open. And I totally don't remember being sick and everyone looking for something for me to puke in, or what medicines I took, or even some of the conversations I apparently had! Love you, drugs!

Then around eleven pm, when I was feeling much more lucid, everyone, including Matt, had to leave. So I was on my own, immobile in the bed, with Alice beside me. It was mostly impossible to reach her, but I was suppose to be watching her and bonding, and feeding her every 3 hours. Well, that was easier said than done. And it was "feed her" meaning have her suck on my boobs to get a couple drops of colostrum. She's not having it though because her blood sugar was low so she has already had a couple bottles and now she knows that the booby sucking isn't worth her time. The nurses are man handling my breasts trying to get her to latch and squeeze something worth while out of them. Some of them are really bad and uber annoying/persistent! At no point does anyone tell me that she isn't suppose to be getting anything other than colostrum until my milk comes in and the few dribbles I'm producing are totally normal. Thanks for making me feel like a mommy failure already. Yes, I get that with her low blood sugar they have to get some substance into her to help stabilize that, but it's the lack of communication and knowledge sharing that I resent. It wasn't until days after the hospital that I realized that everything with my boobs was normal.

Also, I'm just gonna throw it out there that between seeing two lactation consultants, not only did they not tell me that colostrum is just minor dribbles, but that when your milk comes in, it comes in with a furious vengeance. Thanks for sending me on my merry way and totally not preparing me for a night of painful engorgement and fever. Not thinking it would come in on day 2.5 we didn't have a pump and in the middle of the night I wake up with mega painful boobs; huge and solid as rocks. Alice cant even get a handle on them they are so swollen. The swelling has even travelled down into my arms and they too are feeling hot and bruised. It was crazy. Luckily the public health nurse called just as I was consulting Dr Google and said take some ibuprofen, massage them in the shower, and pump out. Ok daddy, make a run, get the drugs and the pump, and sure enough the relief after pumping was amazing. I was sure to keep on top of emptying them after that.

Anyway, big digression. So night one was sleepless. Between, blood glucose checks and feedings every three hours and my own vitals every four hours there was maybe 15 to 30 minutes of dozing. Also, I was really itchy, but I kind of thought that was still rash related so what could they do? Should have said something and got some anti itch drugs, because apparently the itch was from the hospital meds. Also, they had these pumps on my legs to keep them from swelling and they were the worst things ever! Super itchy themselves and sweaty and noisy and super uncomfortable. Everything else was fine, I just wanted those damn pumps off. Besides, they did nothing for the swelling anyway. Needless to say, despite not having to share a room, the night was sleepless and long.

Alice, on the other hand, was great through it all and already I could tell that she's a smart cookie. She caught on so quickly to what everything meant. When someone started playing with her foot she would frown and cry knowing that it meant she was going to get poked. And being unswaddled she immediately started sucking knowing it meant she was going to eat. And also knowing that sucking on dribbly boobs wasn't half as satisfying as the 15 cc bottles of formula. My clever little girl!

So, now its 6 in the morning and finally I feel like I'm maybe able to get an hour of sleep, but then breakfast comes and they are polishing the floors and sleep is not gonna happen. The good thing about this day is that Alice's sugar stabilizes even though the breast feeding thing still is not really happening. They get me up and about and although I feel like I'm 100 years old and basically have to shuffle to get about it's surprisingly doable. They pull all my catheters and take off the stupid itchy leg pumps! Thank god! And all of a sudden the itchiness and nausea is gone and I can eat and drink and get out of bed all on my own. So, the whole c-section part of this doesn't seem so bad. And the best part of feeling better is being able to go and see Evan, finally!! I have felt super guilty about the poor little guy over in the NICU and all I've been able to do is look after Alice. Luckily, Matt was super dad from the get go and spent most of yesterday with the little guy while I was bed ridden. So Nana shows up and looks after Alice and Matt helps me trundle down to the NICU. (Long walk for post surgery but we were smart and brought a wheel chair for the way back)

Oh, our little guy... So tiny looking in his incubator. Luckily, Matt knew the ways of the NICU and easily changed the little guy, managing all his monitor wires, and then I finally got to hold him! Finally! In comparison, Alice was a monster baby! Anyway I will save Evan's story for another post.

Day two is full of going back and forth between babies to feed them when I can, peeing like a race horse on steroids AND diuretics, eating my fruit bouquet (yum) and some of the hospital food (yuck) because all of a sudden I'm so hungry, and taking drugs. Being hopped up on things makes functioning way easier. I walk around a lot, try to nap a little, and we take Alice for her first bath and weigh her. Right now her sugar is good, her weight is good, and if things go well she can go home tomorrow! I get the same prognosis. Good, because night two is just as bad and we have a room mate whose baby cries at inopportune times. Too baby her and Alice were not in sync. I think only the babies slept during this night. It's around four am, after feeding Alice, I decide to be a selfish mother and ask the nurses to watch her for the next 3 hours so I can try to get some sleep. And I do manage about two hours. So, considering I had barely slept the night before coming in because I was still itchy with pupps and nervous/excited I now know I can go 72 hours with sleeping for like 6 hours here and there. Good to know for the months ahead!

Day three and we are ready to be discharged around noonish. Still we hang out all day to visit with Evan and stay around for his late feeding. I will be so glad to finally sleep in my own bed even if it means jumping out of it to feed Alice throughout the night. So, finally, we leave the ward with Alice and are only then able to take her to visit her brother for the first time since their birth. It really hits me once the two of them are together that they are both ours, two of them, to take home forever. Cuddling with them at the same time was my favorite hospital memory. Seriously, still blows my mind sometimes that we have two!

September 12 - Day of Destiny! AKA: Babies Arrive

So we are going to give birth! No waiting for labour, no contractions, no vaginal delivery. Is it even fair to delivery in such a way? Am i a lesser woman for not going through labour? I don't know, but I do know a c section isnt a walk in the park either, there are down sides to it too. Even so, I cant believe I was so worried about it in the first place.

At 10am we go into the hospital, basically to hang out until they are ready for us. We were kind of squished in that day so we had to really wait for our turn. Maybe 2 or 3 pm the OB said. So we wait and I nap and Matt hangs out with his iphone... And then very suddenly it's go time.

It must have been shortly after two that we trundled down to the OR. Matt goes to get gowned up and I go in to get my spinal and be prepped. Holy crap, the anesthesiologist wasn't joking when he said the spinal was fast. My toes went numb in seconds and it very quickly spread up my body. Could barely feel the scrub and the catheter and, very suddenly, they were opening and I couldnt feel a thing! Good! Matt barely gets into the OR before we hear the Drs welcoming our first little one and her first little cries. It's 2:21! Matt and I look at each other in disbelief and wonder. And then, before the minute was up baby boy is here and healthy and crying! Then I'm crying and it's just unbelievable to have them here after months of fretting and wondering how it all would go. And so, on a beautiful, sunny September afternoon we welcome Alice Marie and Evan Robert into the world! Babies are here!

It's so exciting and the rest of the day goes by in a blissful, euphoric, drug enhanced way. I think I saw both of them in the OR, at least briefly. Alice is perfect and has no problems at all.

Evan has to go straight to the NICU, even though he is completely healthy and Apgar is perfect too, he is tiny and his sugar is low. Matt follows with Alice in his arms and all of a sudden the nurses are missing a baby! They have to go track Matt down and bring Alice back to me. Closing doesn't seem to take too long, which I thought it might and then we are in recovery. I get to hold Alice for the first time!
We hang out in recovery and I know I cant see Evan until we get out of here. My hands are just a little numb from the spinal and its the strangest sensation to see and be aware of your feet and just not be able to move them. Weird! But shortly I begin to wiggle my toes. Alice has found my breast and is sucking away even though she is getting nothing as I didn't go through labour so my body is like... What! Babies now! Whoa we are not ready yet! It'll get there. I dont think we were in recovery for very long, maybe half an hour? Soon I am getting wheeled down the hall, Alice asleep on my chest, and we stop in at the NICU to see Evan who is looking very tiny and naked, hooked up to all the monitors, but he looks ok really. It's a short visit and then we are finally taken to our room to rest.

Grandparents, brothers, and sisters are called. Linda and Val visited us shortly before the birth and come up to see us after, as do Mom and Dad. They all coo over little Alice but, true to form, the oxytocin has kicked in and I can barely keep my eyes open. The rest of the day is even more blurry but it has felt wonderful. The c section itself (not considering 6 weeks of recovering here) really was a breeze. And we finally have our two little babies out in the world. What a relief, what a joy, what a September 12th to remember!

Weights Evan 4.5lbs Alice 5.3lbs

Week 36.5: Incoming Babies in T Minus 1.5 Days

The babies are coming! Ok yes, they were always coming but now it's pretty much a set date. Here's the bounce around on dates story: so last we thought it was the 11th. At the OB on Friday she comes in and tells us we are bumped. The new Seton hospital has just opened their baby ward with no new staff, so they are taking staff from the other hospitals and telling them to cut down their daily surgeries by 20%! Since we are low risk and not even at 37 weeks we got bumped to the 17th. Alright, so now we are back to a 10 days count down but I feel like we can do it. Tuesday comes and it's our last ultrasound. There's nothing too remarkable except that baby boy has really, really slowed in growth. While baby girl is about 5.5 lbs, baby boy is still sitting under 5 lbs (at 4.7 lbs). Boo!

So the docs decide that we should deliver before the week is out, so now we are back to dates around the 11th. The OB even asks if we are cool with that night!! Eek! No! That's way too soon and I am not ready! But really we are ready so, sure, doc, whatever date you pick. The hospital can fit us in on the 12th which is good cuz that's not terrorism day or Friday the 13th! So as long as we don't go into labour in the next day we are scheduled for the c-section on Thursday morning. It looks like I will never know what labour contractions feel like... Well, this whole pregnancy was nothing like I had anticipated, but as long as the babies are healthy I really don't care how they come out.

So, I will have officially logged 12 days of actual maternity leave before the babies. Yeah, it was a decent amount of time to take it easy. I've been out and about most days because that feels healthier anyway. A little last minute bra shopping, returns, random supplies, groceries, dog visiting, popping into work at Canyon Meadows or Alpine to make sure everything is more or less under control, getting a new phone to replace the one I inexplicably lost... And napping! Lots of napping! Now that I can sleep in I have mixed up my schedule in the evenings and morning to rotate between sleeping, eating, and tar soap showers. It feels more productive than tossing and turning and waiting to go to work which I suppose is the point. Letting go of work worries has been hard though as I am super emotionally invested in my job. I will strongly recommend to my children not to get emotionally involved in your job, it makes things rough. But, either way, it will sort itself out without me and over time I may start to care less. So I must come to terms with that.

In a nutshell, other than the big decisions that were made today, it has been pretty normal, if not quiet. Physically, things feel like they are getting tolerable again. I find with pregnancy eventually the problems/worries/discomforts sort themselves out only to be replaced by something different as soon as one has adjusted. I feel like I have adjusted so we might as well changes things up and get this pregnancy over with. I will admit the reality of it is a little nerve wracking, but we are so ready to be parents, and so ready to meet these little guys. I really want to have something to look at and hold that will make this real for me. I still am having a hard time thinking beyond the day to day pregnancy thing and actually visualizing the babies at the end of this tunnel. But having it so close... Getting more and more excited to see these little people we have made! It's hard to remember where we started from and that this was the end goal, yet here we are. So again I will say Eek! with a little bit of nerves and a lot of excitement behind it.

The next time I post something our family will have doubled in size and our house will forever be completely different! Eek!

PS My Pregnancy Summary
Have officially gained 44lbs and now outweigh my husband :( His shirts make great maternity wear though. I can still pick things up off the ground and touch my toes. I have a lot of stretch marks but no more rash. Unfortunately, fighting the rash put stretch mark fighting on the back burner for me. My belly has remained a reasonable size and never felt like it was getting too out of hand. No back aches or mobility issues for me! You should have seen me jump away from a ninja spider the other day!
My boobs only started to grow in the second trimester and it has been a very slow growth but I did go from an A cup to a C and they are looking quite nice right now. Wait until the babies ravage them.
I did not nest or crave things, though white meat became a big turn off. I did not suffer from too much pregnancy brain, just a couple of episodes, and a small handful of emotional breakdowns, though I have been overly paranoid the whole time, and went through a couple months of complete grouchiness.
My fingers and toes are only mildly fat thanks to a lot of sitting around this week, but there were times when bending my wrists and ankles was hard due to all the edema. I did not glow or get long flowing locks, but maintained my regular pimply complexion and had to cut my nails a lot! Other than excessive mucus and snots, pregnancy sneezing, tension headaches, 36 weeks of morning sickness, and a few weeks of mild PUPPP rash we have had an ok run carrying these twins. However, I will not be sad to be done with it...!

Week 35: The Final Countdown

As of right now the OB wants to do a c-section on September 11th. This means we give birth in 10 days. I have a couple problems with this.
1. Is this too early? If everything is going well wouldn't it be better to wait between 37 and 38 weeks? I would really like to avoid too much NICU time and the longer they are in doesn't that mean they are more developed and healthy?? The OB has left this concern to be addressed closer to the date.
2. I still feel like if we go into natural labour that the little boy may push his head into the front and we might be able to deliver natural. I don't know if this is my preference or not, i cant decide, but i feel like natural may be a better recovery... Again, the OB didn't really have a stance to take on this matter.
3. September 11th is kind of terrorism day. I mean, yeah we're not in the states, but we are still aware of such things. So, even though we are counting, we are not counting on it. We will see... The next OB appointment is Friday.

Other than that, things are good. I feel like I have been winning this week. Of course I am winning now that the end is so close! The rash is mostly gone. Some spots still remain on my feet, armpits and groin and the itch really bounces around each night. Sometimes I still have to bath with my soap 2 or 3 times, and sometimes I can get away with some local hot water treatments on just my arms or feet. I've done some reading that the rash is related to liver toxins, however detoxing is not healthy for the babies right now. So the best thing seems to be to avoid high fat foods as this seems to aggravate things. (Science is Fun: the liver produces bile acids which help digests fats. Unhappy liver = less bile acids = residual fats in the body = rash causing toxins. In case you guys wondered.) My hands and feet are super fat and flare up at night but I am hoping that the next few days of rest will reduce that. The headaches have been gone since my last physio, so yah! for that. Still have random morning sickness despite 4 diclectin a day but I swallow so much mucus during the night it sometimes is nice to get rid of it. It's a quick morning purge and then I usually am ok to eat breakfast. The braxton hicks can be a little long and uncomfortable these days, but nothing too crazy really. Usually if i get up and move around they go away pretty quickly. If I get 5 hours of sleep despite needing to pee or getting woken up by contractions or itchiness it has been a good night!

Ewww, here are my fat feet with superman colors!

Physically, I have felt pretty good. Other than being uber tired all the time I don't really mind the belly and my joints/back/knees have held up just fine. I am going to attribute this to all my pre-pregnancy working out and core strength training. Just should have done a couple more plies (PS that's how you pick things up!) So, in summary, despite my complaining through all this there really have been lots of blessings.

Anyway... As of Friday I am officially done working. Still have some loose ends to take care of, and there will be book keeping things over this next year off, but yeah... Officially don't have to go in every morning. It will be strange. I have been going into that clinic almost everyday for the last 14 years. Looking forward to the break, but I will still miss a lot of it... like coworkers and the clients and the patients and doing the tech stuff. Yes, I know, I will be too busy to miss it... Perhaps. Still going to get out everyday to let the dogs out and do errands as needed so I'm not going to be too bored I hope. Even so, 10 - 14 days alone seems like a long time!

The babies have also been very good these last few days. Most of the time the are moving enough that I dont worry. Sometimes they can really get moving and they bounce whatever is resting on my pregnancy table (also another cool benefit of pregnancy). Ice water and ice cream seem to do the trick most of the time... I don't think they like the cold! They looked very good on their ultrasound. Much better growth than last time. They are now 4.5 ish lbs which makes me feel better to have them early if that happens. Baby girl is again bigger, but they are so close it doesnt really matter. They still have enough fluid and room to grow a bit so this is why I feel we can push the delivery date. FYI, normal babies are honeydew melons at this stage and about 5.5 to 6 lbs. Ha ha already I am referring to the babies as not normal! Poor babies!

PS My innie is only now turning to an outie :( and we almost made it all the way!

Week 34: The Itch, The Rash, The Devil's PUPPP

This week I learned that it doesn't matter how late in your pregnancy it is, the hormones can still mess with you. Most things have been going well so I'm thinking, ok we can make it to the end. Then wham! The pregnancy rash really begins to rage. The belly itch was nothing. Next my wrists begin to get bumpy and red, my knuckles flare up with angry papules. It climbs up my arms, elbows get bad, and creeps into my armpits. from the belly is slinks down into my groin and around my sides, hips, and back. here it is not as rashy and bumpy as my arms and is probably the least of the itch. Also,, shortly after my OB appointment where she says, "no big deal you whiner, its only your arms," it getsbetween my  toes, backs of my ankles, and up to my knees and knee pits. The bumps begin to merge into red raised itchy plaques over the worst parts. I look like a leper, itch ALL the time, and things get worse at night so you can't sleep. All you wanna do is scratch but as soon as you take one relieving scratch you cant stop and the whole area gets raw and inflammed. Its an evil, horrible, unrelievable cycle.

What's a girl to do... A whole lot of research. So I spent this week tired as hell and miserable, looking up and trying so many creams and baths and natural remedies for rashes that I couldn't even list them all. Nothing really helped much and this peaked over the weekend so the rash consumed me completely, all of my energies and tolerance went into suffering this thing. Maybe I was being a baby through it all, but I was ready to be induced just to get rid of the itching on Sunday night.

Then I found some longer term relief rather then reapplying creams and bathing every 2-3 hours. Its not perfect but it helps a bit... Scalding hot water treatments. Yeap, after spending all that money it's as simple as letting hot water run over your itch for 30 secs to a minute that provides the longest relief, just hot enough that you can almost not stand it. Its a fine line and one has to be careful, but boy does it work. Lucky my worst itching was on my extremities. In case you wondered, the theory is that it opens your vessels/cells and the slow release antihistamines come to the surface all at once and you get them out of your system for a bit. Sound science to me. In the meantime, I also ordered Grandpas Pine Tar Soap from the states as the internet consensus is that its one of the only things that makes the rash go away. Oh yeah, and staying dry in all those moist crevices is very important to not propagate the rash. I use baby powder, a lot of it, so the bathroom looks snow covered when I'm done. Who says it's just for babies! So between the soap and the hot water and the baby powder the rash has more or less cleared up, though some patches remain, and it is now tolerable. Still am in the shower/bath two to three times a day and usually around 2 am at night, but it is better. Even so, I will be glad to be rid of it.

The babies are happy, dancing small cantaloupes. Am curious to see their growth at next weeks ultrasound! On the fun side, here are the fully decorated cribs and library...