4 to 5 Months: Giggles

February 12, 2014

Dear Alice and Evan

You're five months old today and our activities consisted of loading you up in the car to run errands and buy Crave cupcakes for a friend's Birthday. Someday you will know all the glory that a cupcake can be.

THE FOOD SITUATION: Until then it's still formula and breast milk for you guys. This month it was getting harder to fill you up on one breast each so we are now alternating feedings of breast and formula so you can be more satisfied. This works quite well as long as you guys (Evan this month) are not on some kind of food strike... Maybe due to teething but it's hard to tell. Your growth is slow and steady. Perhaps next month we will start solids but all my research has said that your stomachs aren't ready to digest such things, even though you have tried wee tastes of banana and prune/applesauce. So far you are very messy with such things so I'm not sure your tongues are ready either.

We have tried to get out for walks once a week. Most of the time it happens but its still pretty cold and pushing the stroller through the snow banks has not been easy. It's a good work out for Mommy. I thought you guys might like to look at the world but usually you just fall asleep, despite the crazy jostling. Same with car rides and errands, best to do during nap times because you guys are just gonna sleep anyway.

THE SLEEP SITUATION: Although we still don't have an established nap time you guys sleep so well at night I just give you free reign throughout the day. With bedtime somewhere between 9:30pm and 10pm and mornings around 6am we are getting 8.5 hours each night. For that, and as well as no inconsolable crying, we know we are blessed.

The best thing, by far, this month and overall was been the development of your giggles. Both of you decided, within days of each other after turning 4 months old, that you were now ticklish and enjoying silly noises to the point of laughing. I love making you guys laugh, and so does Daddy. 

 

EVAN, you have ticklish toes (even just when cutting nails) and like it when Mommy pretends to eat you. This usually gets a giggle. You also spend time standing on our laps and dancing, and this makes you laugh too. You still like it when we say "boggity boo" so we have started to call you Mr. Boogie. Another nickname for you is Slug because you still haven't rolled over. Although you can get your hips over you still don't want to lift up your head on your own to get into full on tummy time position. We have to help roll you up, but at least you are more tolerant now. You play a lot of superman with Mommy and rocket ship with Daddy. The Winkle or Crinkly Monkey are your favorite toys, but really you'll chew on anything you get your hands on. Other than your frustrating food strikes (Mommy wants you to eat and grow!) you have been a good boy. You do seem to be getting longer and we upgraded you guys to 6 month clothes which I feel like you will grow into quickly. Just waiting for you to fill out a bit so you're not so lean. We have also dabbled a bit in real clothes, eg. jeans and shirts and overalls, thanks to Nana. I guess one can't wear pjs forever. And you have started to sprout some hair on that bald little head of yours. It's much darker than your birth hair and very soft. My fuzzy, happy little guy! So eager to smile, even when you are a little cranky or sleepy, you can always squeeze one out. It lights up the room every time. Oh yeah, and you officially outgrew your sister! Good job, little guy!
 

ALICE, you are mostly ticklish around your ears and neck and love slobbery kisses there, and your tummy as well. You are a pro at rolling over and get frustrated because you can't go any further now that you've accomplished that. In time, my girl. You are always on the go and get bored easily. You love making noises and every couple of days you find new sounds to experiment with. This month you learned how to blow bubbles, then buzz your lips and spit, and now squealing is your favorite, sometimes rolling your tongue when you do it. It is loud but you have so much fun doing it all we can do is laugh. You have also been a good girl though sometimes you get so bored of the same things all you want is to be carried around and look at things. We started story time and your favorite book is Brown Bear, Brown Bear. You love to cuddle with Pink Monkey during naps. You have begun to note your brother more and most of the time decide that he is something to chew on... Often this is his head. So, yes, Mommy has actually said, 'Alice, don't eat your brother.' You are often a little Zombie baby and will try to eat Mommy and Daddy as well... in addition to anything else that you can get your hands on. You too have grown a lot in length and are wearing 6 month clothes as well. Nana bought you some cute overalls dresses and shirts so we've had a couple dress up days for you too. You are long and lean, and getting big girl hair. All your baby fuzz is gone and thicker strands are coming in. Sometimes it looks blonde and sometimes more brunette but we are not sure what you will be at this point. 
 

We love you both so much. Keep smiling!

Weights: Evan 13.1lbs Alice 12.8lbs

3 to 4 Months: The Happiest Holiday Season

January 12, 2014

Dear Little Ones

Yeah! Your first Christmas! Ok, so second Christmas is going to be way more fun because you guys were just too little to enjoy anything and your bedtime conflicted a bit with our previous adult only Christmas routines. There will be some adjusting for 'the fam' but I have to admit that I am excited for the new breath of joy you guys will bring to this wonderful season! I hope you will grow to love the spirit of Christmas and enjoy, and carry on, old and new traditions. We have so much planned for the years ahead. 

We did manage to take some pretty cute Christmas shots and you guys are getting really used to the camera. Nothing depicts the joy of this Christmas better than cute babies wrapped in lights! It really was A Baby Christmas in the house. The tree was packed with so many presents for you guys from all our far away family; lots of first Christmas ornaments, cool hats and clothes, toys you can grow into, and your very special teddy bears, from Nana and Grandpa, of course! Christmas Eve was a late one at Auntie Lindsay and Uncle Dave's and it threw us all off. Despite a later night we were all up bright and early for a fireplace cuddle the next morning. We had a quiet Christmas morning at home and then went to Nana and Grandpa's for the rest of Christmas Day. You guys were very good for this; sleeping, nursing, and just hanging out while the family opened gifts. Doing things with you in the day is much easier than in the evening. We are learning this the hard way by pushing you guys during the witching hour, which is around 7:30. Then we had another late night for Christmas Eve dinner. We tried very hard to play Auntie Lindsay's game but I had to go upstairs and feed you guys and then we had to duck out early again as it was way past bedtime. However, this was not before Mommy found the Christmas pickle (second place). Glad I bought such a big pickle for our own giant tree or you guys would never spot it! Then, Uncle Kevin came to meet you guys between Christmas and New Years! I'm so glad you guys got to meet him so early. It was really great to see him during the holidays, even if it was quick. For New Years we had Jen and Dave over and you guys went to bed at your regular time and slept while we played quiet board games and missed the countdown by accident, oops. Happy 2014! So that was your first Christmas Holidays in a nutshell.

You also had a quick visit with your first baby friend, Astrid. It's the first baby you guys have seen. Evan and Astrid shared a couple smiles and then you guys squirmed around on the play mat and let her play with your jingly octopus. What nice babies to share your toys! 

THE SLEEP SITUATION: So we've found if we don't mess with your schedule you are consistently sleeping 8 hours. This is good. I feel like I can tackle any day as long as I can get 8 hours too. Sometimes I feel like Alice would sleep even longer if little Even didn't get us all up in the morning. You are still the last to bed and first to rise, little guy. A few days before you guys turned 4 months we moved you to separate cribs. Not only were you getting too long to lie in them perpendicularly, but Evan wouldn't sleep unless Alice was sleeping first, and we want you guys to be independent! You guys made that transition without so much as a hiccup. Nights are going very well. The only problem with this long sleeping is that by the time the morning rolls around  Mommy's boobies are super duper full! I have taken to sleeping with a beach towel over them as the breast pads just don't contain the mess and I was tired of changing bed sheets. I've said it once and I'll say it again: Breast feeding is messy!  

At 4 months old we decided to buy you guys a Bumbo. It's a little red rubber chair to help you guys sit up. Mostly this was to help get you guys off the floor and have gravity help with your heads. Alice has been to physio a couple times to make sure she has no neck tightness making her always turn to one direction. We have worked hard to even you out little miss; always wanting to look tot the right. I blame your womb position. Being off the floor should help. Evan has the same problem, just more on the back of his head so we are taking the same measures with him. Being on your backs to sleep is great to reduce SIDS but not so good for perfectly shaped heads. Anyway, you guys seem to enjoy sitting up for short periods, but it's obvious your heads get heavy and you need a break. Someday you won't have to work so hard to hold your heads up! Imagine that! 

 

EVAN... You are ever more a charmer. You have mastered smiling in an 'aw shucks' kind of way that melts our hearts. You still love the letter B and singing... Almost any song works but Morning Train and Cheers are still high on the favorite list, and We Built this City and Teddy Bear Picnic as well. Thanks to your awesome core strength we have mastered the double pick up as Mommy can scoop you with one arm while holding Alice. You still like to look up and stay stiff as a board, and your planking is top notch. The mirror on the play mat finds you often staring intently at yourself while holding your fists out, sometimes a few words are even exchanged. Every now and then your hands catch your eye and you stare at them intently instead. My little boxer, keep your hands up! You have started to make some sounds and have a grumbly way of conversing, which means you usually have to furrow your brow when you do it. Every now and then we get high pitched squeals of delight or attention seeking. Still for the most part you are the strong, silent type. Your favorite toy is the Winkle Grammie sent you for Christmas; it's the best for grabbing and chewing. You also like to chew on your striped monkey when it's sleepy time. And sometimes your hands. If you could fit both fists in your mouth at the same time I'm sure you would.

 

ALICE... You are a little cutie pie and so very curious. We used to think you were the lazy baby but our minds sure have changed about that. You've become a pro at tummy time and can lift your head up quite well. Just before you hit four months you surprised Mommy one day and just rolled over on your own! So so proud! You also are more aware of the other little person in the house and look over at your brother from time to time to check out a sound he is making or something else he is doing. You love babbling with anyone who will listen. The sounds you make are adorable! Your favorite toy is sometimes the Winkle (there's only one) but usually you like your pink striped monkey, it's better for chewing. Sometimes I think maybe you are teething, but most of the time i think you are probably just being a baby. Your hand eye coordination is spot on, mostly because for the last month you've decided to be a thumb sucker! I will admit that it drove me a little bonkers at first because I will give you a nice meal and then you immediately suck your thumb after, making me think you are still hungry... Perhaps you were. You can never really tell how much breast milk you guys are getting. At least formula drinking is quantitative. We will know next time you weigh in how the eating is going. This is the only anxiety I have right now, that somehow you guys just aren't getting enough to eat. Oh that you would talk and tell me! Finnigan has become Alice's fun morning time buddy and he has started to let you pet him. My hope is for him to be a best friend to you guys. I always loved my cats growing up and hope you will too!

 

As the weeks go by you guys are slowly looking less alike, and your individual personalities begin to emerge. Can't wait to see where your curiosity will take you Alice. Or to watch Evan quietly take everything in and work his charms.

 

Weights: Evan 11.0lbs Alice 11.2lbs

2 to 3 Months: Christmas Visits and Tradition

December 12, 2013

Dear Babies

As you turned 3 months old we were just saying goodbye to Grammie as she was going back to Nova Scotia. She came to visit you guys just before Christmas. It was very special to have her here and although we were stuck inside the whole time due to brutally cold temperatures, everyday was lovely and relaxing. Both of you guys loved being rocked by Grammie and listening to all her songs. Alice, you especially liked having long chats with her and usually had a lot to say! You guys will miss her, and so will Mommy and Daddy.
 

So Christmas will soon be here. Your first Christmas! Someday you will know what a crazy Christmas lady your Mommy is. I was determined to put up both our trees and have our party as per usual. And we did! With help from Nana and Grammie and Daddy we did it all. Decorating was done before Grammie got here and Mommy had lots of time to bake and cook all our traditional Christmas yummies! Next year you guys can actually help! We also had our usual open house. It was a little crazy to organize the food and the cookies AND visit with everyone but you guys were in a lot of good hands. Probably our turn out was so good just because people wanted to come see you guys. It was a nice little holiday gathering despite the feeling of chaos. 

 

You also made an appearance at Grampa and Grams' Christmas party. We had to keep it short so you guys wouldn't turn into little green monsters and become instantly less fun! You guys did well and just hung out on Mommy and Daddy's laps while numerous people oohed and awed. 

 

You had a huge outing at the Christmas market with Nana and Mommy. We loaded everyone up, stocked up the diaper bag, and headed off to Spruce Meadows where the market is always held. We did ok until you guys got hungry and we ran out of bottles. Then Nana found the Mommy Room behind a curtain so we were able to breastfeed and change everyone; taking turns while Nana showed the other one off between the vendor stalls. It gave us a whole new burst of energy for another couple hours to shop some more. In totally it was 6 hours out. I was very proud of you guys for your market endurance as this is already a family tradition.

We also went to see Auntie Kendra in A Christmas Carol while you guys had your first babysitting with Nana and Grandpa. We also took Grammie out to Banff for another outing that needed babysitting. It was a nice to get out but I felt bad and missed you guys. 

Auntie Michelle visited you this month from Toronto. Alice showed her appreciation by spitting up all over Auntie's shirt. Maria and Jennifer Keller also came from Edmonton to visit and bring you special ornaments. What lucky babies to have so many exciting visitors!

We hit the 6 week peak of crying and didn't notice much difference either way. You guys seem to be pretty average in that department and still only really cry when you need or want something; and can usually be consoled quickly if someone is around and free to do it.

THE SLEEP SITUATION: We have developed a bedroom routine of putting Alice down first, then Evan right after. You both like to nurse and cuddle almost an hour before bed so it is a process. But by the time you guys turned 3 months we had you sleeping from 10pm to 6am, most nights. I also credit this to shutting the blinds so the room is dark. Before we had them open so you guys could learn what day and night was but as soon as we shut the blinds you guys had your first long night. Thank you for being good sleepers! Most of the mornings I am woken up by full boobies or the cats. Ergh, the cats! They have decided since we are up early to ask for breakfast sometimes at 5am. I told them they have to at least wait until 6 but this doesn't stop them from asking. I hope you guys have pets that can be free fed! At least Finnigan has decided to become your friend. He especially enjoys mornings and sandwiching you against Mommy while he sleeps on the nursing pillow. It keeps everyone snugly warm.

You guys have both started to wiggle and squirm a lot and Alice almost rolled off the pillow one day! You both are also starting to reach out and whack at things that are in front of you. So, this month we retired all the pillows and cushions for a proper play area set up with foam pads and quilts and the baby gym where there is a mirror and lots of hanging toys. Starting to have some fun with toys!

ALICE, just after turning 2 months old, 3 days after Evan, you rewarded Mommy with a big goofy smile! You are so cute and coy about it, it's beautiful! You still are making a lot of fun faces in addition to smiling, especially when you are waking up. Nana is having lots of fun trying to capture pictures of them all. Alice, your favorite part of the new play area is the hanging mirror and you enjoying long conversations with yourself. When we join in on the conversation your favorite word is "O" or "ho ho ho." Everyone loves talking with you! You are grabbing things on your own now and seem to enjoy chewing on your pink striped monkey the most. This month you are officially out of newborn clothes and in the 0 to 3 month ones. Some of these sleepers are so cute and pretty on you. I wish you could stay this size longer so you could keep wearing them. Nana has been buying both of you the most stylist sleepers ever! Lucky kids! She has just finished knitting you some outdoor hats, and thank goodness because it is cold! We always get lots of compliments when we wear our hats out and about. Can't wait for our stylish matching sweaters!

Once you turned two months old, EVAN, you were able to hold your head up during tummy time. You still don't really like to be on your tummy but manage ok once we put you there. For a short time that is. You are also into 0 to 3 month old clothes and are catching up to your sister in the weight department. You look especially cool in whites, kind of like a wise old Sensei with your Captain Picard head. You are a master at planking and standing up when someone holds you. Your legs are very strong! You have also enjoyed spending time on the play mat and like to just quietly look at yourself in the mirror. Either that or swatting at the rattlesnake over your bouncer.  Also, now that your vision has improved you really like to watch your mobile or stare at the monkey with the orange eyes over the change table. You even crack a smile now and then at him. You also like to smile at words that start with "B" and like it when we say boggity boo! You are in love with the theme song to Cheers! Where everybody knows your name! We love you and all your smiles; they brighten everyday!

Weights: Evan 10.1lbs Alice 10.7lbs

1 to 2 Months: Nothing Like a Good Snuggle

November 12, 2013

Dear Evan and Alice

The day you turned two months old was spent at home with Mommy and Daddy just hanging out. We spend most days this way because with the one hour time frame between feedings it's just so hard to get out. But that's ok because you can't focus more than a few feet anyway so there's not much out there for you to see yet.

THE SLEEP SITUATION: Now that you guys fit in your bouncy seats you love to come down early in the morning for fireplace snuggles after an early breakfast. Sometimes Mommy can even nap a bit on the couch, sometimes snuggling with one of you if you're in the mood. It's a cozy scene with the winter getting closer. Once you guys got use to the vibration in the chairs it was a life saver to put you to sleep when we were busy with 'the other one,' and the heat of the fireplace kept you so cozy that you were able to have lots of really good naps. Sometimes I worried that I was cooking you guys... But you didn't seem to mind and we never ended up with baby for dinner. At night you guys are still in the same crib and we have modified some pillows to hopefully help with your crooked heads. 

THE FOOD SITUATION: You guys are still eating every 3 hours. Sometimes I thought Alice could go longer but we are trying to feed you both on the same schedule. Evan, you demanding boy! You usually get priority due to your tiny size, loud voice, and smaller stomach. Alice is usually patient and good. As you got closer to turning 3 months old the night time feedings have started to spread out. Initially, Daddy was suppose to do the midnight feed and then Mommy to do the 3am feed (because at 3am the boobies were ready to explode with milk.) When you started sleeping past midnight Mommy had to fight Daddy and hide the monitor so he wouldn't get up and feed you too close to my turn when I REALLY needed to empty my breast. If not then they exploded in bed while I slept. Yuck! Breast feeding is messy! There is always milk everywhere, and that's not including the actual feeding time. Two months in and my body still doesn't seem to have it under control, but I feel like we may be getting there. Both you guys use a shield for most of the feedings just because you prefer it and we decided that if it meant you'd be less confused when we bottle fed you then it was worth it. Still, sometimes giving you bottles is not the easiest. You have a tendency to route frantically for the nipple and squirm a lot. Now we are phasing out the midnight bottles and starting to introduce an extra formula feeding once during the day just to give Mommy's boobies a little rest to reload. Another anxiety with breast feeding is just not knowing how much you guys are eating from it. The only indication is weight gain... So far so good, I guess. 

 

You are still looking like newborns, but growing by the second it seems. At the end of October we retired the borrowed preemie clothes for Evan. It was good that you were growing but sad to put away the tiny little outfits. Now you fit into the same clothes Alice is wearing, and she is outgrowing some of them. This was good for laundry as you guys can now share some of them. And no Evan, we never made you wear pink! You still have those newborn faces, but your eyelashes are starting to come out and the milia and acne are beginning to fade. Soon you will have beautiful baby skin, which I suggest you appreciate because we did not give you guys good skin genes. Evan decided to shed most of the blonde fuzz you had from birth and are sporting a sleek Captain Picard look. Alice, your hair has just thinned a bit. Mommy loves it best right after a bath when it is fuzzy and smells so good. We also took your hand prints and footprints in clay this month. You were much more cooperative than I thought. I wish I had done them just a little sooner as you already have grown so much. 

ALICE, you are still a cuddly little marshmallow that loves to sleep with your hands above your head or suspended in air like you are stuck in jell-o. Your repertoire of funny faces has grown and they are at their best when you are hungry and rooting for food with a funny scrunched up nose. So cute! You have started to coo a bit, sometimes squeaking like a little squirrel (sometimes we call you that), and even mimicked an ooh sound back at Daddy. You really like low pitched oohing sounds the best. You seem to enjoy puj tub baths in the sink and like watching the running faucet. You've noted your hands a bit but still are not sure what they are good for. However, you can hold things if we help you. Tummy time often disintegrates into floor eating time these days but you were finally able to prop yourself up on your own just shy of turning two months.

EVAN, you are still a super stiff little guy who loves arching your head backwards to check out ceilings and light fixtures. When you stretch your neck you look like a little turtle (sometimes we call you that) poking his head out of his shell. You are not in love with baths but tolerate them if Mommy sings "Hippo In The Bathtub" to you. We have discovered that you are an expert at planking when we hold you in the air by your chest; perfect for superman poses! However, you are learning to bend better at your waist which makes burping a little easier (It's hard burping a board). Although you can get your head up a bit you're still not a big fan of tummy time and we often have to prop your arms under you. You are getting to be quite the charmer and I think you like having your picture taken as long as you can pull out your Blue Steel look. Right before you turned two months you showed Mommy your first smile! I cant even remember what I did to make you smile, but its was very exciting and made me so happy. 

So, it has been busy and we had a few events this month as it was both Halloween and Thanksgiving. 

Thanksgiving was low key and Grams and Grampa came to make dinner at our house. If that hadn't happened we might have skipped it all together. You guys were... needing attention for most of it. So we all kind of ate in shifts and took care of you guys in turn. Nana and Grandpa came to help too. So that was your first Thanksgiving. It will be better next year when you guys can actually eat.

For Halloween Mommy did manage to decorate the house as usual but was only able to carve one of the usual five pumpkins. I don't know if I will ever let you guys carve boring jack-o-lanterns, but maybe I might give in... We will see. I also never found you any newborn Halloween costumes. Cool things in your sizes just weren't out there and I was just too busy to be crafty. Besides, as you know, I am not that crafty anyway. If you had been 3 months older we could have found something. But don't worry my darlings, there are plenty of fantastic Halloweens ahead of us! Also, we failed at the Halloween photo shoot and I never bought a pumpkin large enough to stuff you in. I guess if those are my only regrets we are doing ok. As for Halloween night... Answering the door before Daddy came home during your guys' dinner time was another matter. First time I tried interrupting the feeding to give out the candy and was dribbling milk into my house coat unbeknown to the children. Gross! So the next few times I just carried whoever was eating to the door, still attached. That worked better, I just hope I didn't freak out any children. When Daddy came home we were saved and the rest of the night went like clock work. I'm more excited for next Halloween, it's gonna be a blast!

Next up we had another big dinner for Grandpa's birthday. This time at Nana's house. First trip to another home. This one went slightly better except Daddy and Mommy had to take a big time out to super feed you guys before the dinner and we hid up in the library so Mommy could breastfeed. But we survived it thanks to towing along your bouncy chairs... Again, these have been awesome for you guys. Mommy and Daddy bounced you all through dinner. But we found out that even two babies at a family gathering is not enough for everyone to share!

Auntie Kendra came in from Toronto this month especially to meet you guys! She visited a lot and you guys loved being carried up and down the stairs and when she sang to you, especially 'Lets Go Fly A Kite.' She will be here until after Christmas acting in the Christmas Carol! And she's also been good company for Mommy! 

You have so many more people who want to see and meet you. There's so many more aunties and uncles and grandparents to meet! We love you both and can't wait to show you off to the next round of visitors over the holidays. And you will have your first Christmas! Very special times. 

Weights: Evan 8.2lbs Alice 8.8lbs

0 To 1 Month: Mommy's a Moo Cow

October 12, 2013

Dear Alice & Evan

We survived the first month and boy it went fast! The day you turned one month old we took our first outing (Outside!) to walk on the ridge. It was a beautiful fall day. We planned your feedings accordingly but by the time we got home (half an hour later) you were hungry again.

THE FOOD SITUATION: You guys are always hungry and it feels like all we do is feed you. Sometimes I let you nurse for over an hour because I am so nervous about you not eating enough. Sometimes it's because I end up falling asleep and you do too! Some days you even want to eat every 2 hours, instead of 3, and then Mommy spends an hour on one of you, switches to the next, and spends all day just going back and forth. Evan, you are the better eater and a lot quicker. You are also the loud, impatient one and I hate to say it but you were often the first one to eat because your sister was so patient. Alice, you liked to take your time and really enjoy the breast shield because you don't like Mommy's let down. 

THE SLEEP SITUATION: After you eat you sleep, and sleep, and sleep. Alice loves to sleep and cuddle the most. Evan is our independent little guy. You are sharing a crib right now and sleep on squishy pillows on the floor during the day. The swaddling thing worked for just a couple weeks but both of you just wanted so badly to have your arms free we quickly gave up with the burrito wrapping. 

The best times are when we get a couple minutes where you are awake and quietly observing the world. Evan loves to look around the most, even from day one he was this way, and he mostly loves to look up. Everyone is shocked by how far back your head can bend! Alice is the best at working through a million facial expressions in the least amount of time. It is thrilling and amazing to all of us!

You guys are both very good babies, easy to soothe and please. Between tag team feedings at night Mommy and Daddy can allow each other almost 6 full hours most nights. There have been a couple nights of no sleep at all, but they are few and far between so we don't mind. You guys are definitely learning patience right away! Although you are both easy to soothe sometimes we just can't get to you right away. Sometimes one of you cries the entire time we are feeding your sibling. Mommy and Daddy have a stash of earplugs in the nursery for such an occasion. I still am not brave enough to try dual feeding as you guys are so small and hard to keep latched on, but maybe I will with the next set of twins. Kidding! All in all, with the help of amazing grandparents we have survived the first month. Daddy is counting on the crying to peak at 6 weeks so we will see how things remain. I remember thinking it was going to be harder... Still, there are days when it is hard, but you guys are worth the trouble! Besides, these bad days have a way of slipping quickly from my memory.

We had lots of doctor appointments this month. Too many!! You know the story of the first week but things remained fairly busy. We saw public health nurses, physiotherapists, and Dr Wong. We were concerned about jaundice for a few days, hip displasia from breech presentation, latching problems, head shapes (and still are), crossed eyes, blocked tear ducts, and being on the very low end of the growth percentile chart. 

You had lots of grandparent time and met Auntie Lindsay and Uncle Dave, amongst other visitors! Everybody wanted to see you. You will never know the extent of all the people in our lives who were so excited for your arrival! You were both so tiny during his time some people thought they would break you, especially Evan. We even had to borrow some preemie clothes as most of the newborn outfits drowned you. Alice, you did ok with the newborn size of clothing, and you looked really cute in yellow. Evan looked great in blue. Mommy and Daddy like dressing you in sleepers the best as they are easy on and off. Zippered ones are even better!

Nana and I did a couple of photo shoots with you guys this month. Probably not enough, retrospectively. Often you would not cooperate as one of you was always hungry or tired and the other one was being perfect. You liked to switch these roles up each time. Still, we managed some good shots. And a couple laughs at the awkwardness of posing floppy babies.

The month has been a rollercoaster! We were terrified bringing Alice home in the car when we couldn't see her in the car seat and learned how to do it better when it was Evan's turn. We were over the moon when we finally got both of you home, together. We were exhausted but never weary of caring for you. We oohed and awed a lot, you were both so cute. We marvelled at all the ways you were different. We called Evan Nosferatu and Voldemort because you slept stiff and went pale white. We called Alice marshmallow baby because you were so squishy and cuddly compared to Evan. We love you both and cant wait for the next month and milestone.

Weights: Evan 6.8lbs Alice  7.9lbs

NICU Keeps Us Moving

Well This is my third go at this post because the new blog app doesn't save... Annoying! But we'll give it another try. I apologize for any redundancy as it has been so long since my last post. 

So, as was mentioned, little Evan was zipped off to the NICU as soon as he came out. Despite a top rated apgar his sugar was low and they knew he would need an incubator to help maintain his temperature. He was a scrawny little guy, with little body fat. Tiny little limbs and neck with wrinkly old man skin. Despite being mostly to term he still needed to stabalize and gain some weight before he was able to come home. After spending time in the recovery room I was wheeled over to the NICU for a quick visit with my little man. Still holding Alice on my chest I got to see the little guy oh so breifly and hold his little hand. I wish I had been able to cuddle him and take him with us, but unfortunatley that was all I would see of him until I was mobile the next afternoon. Although it was easier to care for only one baby that first night in my post op drugged up state I felt sad and guilty that I was not able to be with both of them. 

So almost 24 hours after his birth I finally got to go see and hold my guy. Day one when we saw him in the NICU he was still in his incubator, but stable enough to take out and hold. Cradling the little guy he barely stretched from palm to elbow and compared to Alice seemed so tiny. He was small to us, but when compared to the other babies in the ward, not so much. He technically wasn't a preemie because at 36 wks and 5 days he was practically considered full term. Still, I had to remind myself that on the grand scale of babies they were both still considered small for their age and Evan barely fit on the percentile graph. Luckily, because he was full term his organs were all developed and normal and he just needed some time to catch up to his sister. The only other intervention was that he had a gavage tube down his nose as he needed to take a certain volume of food to keep his sugar levels up and he couldnt manage an entire bottle (1 TBSP) just yet. There was some brief talk of IVs, but they decide to wait and see how he did overnight. I really was praying for no IVs.

Right from the get-go he was interested in his surroundings, alert and looking around, wondering if there might be a boobie for him even though he'd hadn't seen one yet. Despite the difficult breast feeding with Alice and the recovery nurses being a pain in the butt I found Evan knew exactly what to do and I just felt so relaxed and confident with him; no crazy nurses here to man handle us. He sucked really well for about half an hour getting out the NORMAL fractions of a milliliter of colostrum. We also fed him by bottle some donated breast milk and gavaged the rest of the meal when he couldn't finish it. After eating we could cuddle. I loved cuddling him in the first few days. He would nuzzle up to my chest and just pass out like he belonged there, his NICU onesies hanging like a sleeping bag around him because he was just that small. This was where having two babies was hard. Deciding where to be, who to spend your time with, who to feed... It was a little emotionally taxing but I did feel better knowing that either Matt or Nana was with the other one. I could not have done it without their help. So we spent this day back and forth between the two babies, feeding, cuddling, and doing general mommy stuff. 

Day two in the NICU and Evan hadn't improved much. He was still needing the gavage and the incubator, but he also hadn't declined and needed an IV placed during the night. I'll take that news any day of the week. He was still being a breast feeding super star for most of his feedings and taking most of the bottle just fine when I wasn't around. Though he had to go 24 hours without needing the gavage before they removed it. During the night they had used it so we were  back to square one with that. Here it was hard to aceept that I couldn't be present for every feeding, had to look after my little girl too! A small part of me felt that if I had just been around to feed him then he wouldn't have needed assistance that night. It was hard to accept my limitations. The thing that made it easier now was that Alice and I were getting discharged. We were finally able to get the babies together. I know I've said it before but it was crazy! Two babies! 

The rest of the day we spent in the NICU cuddling both of them, managing to feed both of them, and enjoying having the family together for the first time. But it had been a long day and eventually we had to leave to go home. Our poor little guy, all alone. It seemed so unfair. The next day I had to admit to myself that I needed to finally get some sleep and take it easy. It was a very hard decision to make and even though it made sense I felt very bad for not going. I was sore from the c-section and not hopped up on drugs yet and my breast were engorged and painful as well. There was myself to take care of AND Alice who was just settling in at home. Again, super Dad to the rescue and he went back to the hospital to hang out with Evan. I was feeling particularly blessed to have a husband who had taken so strongly and wonderfully to parenthood as Matt had. 

That was my only day of rest. I started pumping milk out like crazy to give to Evan, to anyone who would take it up to him, bless them. I also started drugging myself up with a tylenol/ibuprofen concoction so we could pack little Alice up in the car, go up to visit Evan and get in as many feedings as possible, come home to grandparent dinners, and throw in all the pain in the butt Alice doctor appointments and public health visits to boot. I could have done without those at the time. It was hard but we were doing it somehow, all the while still feeding Alice at home throughout the nights. I envied, just a bit, the other NICU moms who got to leave their babies in the capable nurses hands and go home and rest. Though I'm sure they would have given anything to have their babies at home. A part of me wonders if it was easier to settle one baby in at home first and then bring home baby number two... Or would it have been better to just have them both at home from the get go and not have to head up to the hospital everyday... We shall never know. 

Anyway, Evan started doing great and after the first 48 hours really improved quickly. He was out of the incubator and the next day without his gavage tube and eating well. His jaudice became questionable but because he was eating enough he was able to flush the bilirubin out on his own and forewent light therapy which would have pushed his stay to another day. We were trying not to be too optimistic on his projected home date. I was hoping for the weekend or at the latest the next Monday, but when we went for our Tuesday visit they told us to bring our car seat to see if his SpO2 level would remain stable while he sat in it and if all was well we would get him on Thursday morning! Well, that was just the best news ever! My heart goes out to the moms who have babies there for months, it must be so hard. So Thursday afternoon we brought little Evan home at just over 4 lbs. Finally our family was together and still we had TWO!! 

Hospitals Are Not My Cup of Tea

So I was pretty out of it the first couple hours after the c section. I know there were grandparents there gooing over Alice, who was in the room with me. But my gosh, it was pretty much impossible to keep my eyes open. And I totally don't remember being sick and everyone looking for something for me to puke in, or what medicines I took, or even some of the conversations I apparently had! Love you, drugs!

Then around eleven pm, when I was feeling much more lucid, everyone, including Matt, had to leave. So I was on my own, immobile in the bed, with Alice beside me. It was mostly impossible to reach her, but I was suppose to be watching her and bonding, and feeding her every 3 hours. Well, that was easier said than done. And it was "feed her" meaning have her suck on my boobs to get a couple drops of colostrum. She's not having it though because her blood sugar was low so she has already had a couple bottles and now she knows that the booby sucking isn't worth her time. The nurses are man handling my breasts trying to get her to latch and squeeze something worth while out of them. Some of them are really bad and uber annoying/persistent! At no point does anyone tell me that she isn't suppose to be getting anything other than colostrum until my milk comes in and the few dribbles I'm producing are totally normal. Thanks for making me feel like a mommy failure already. Yes, I get that with her low blood sugar they have to get some substance into her to help stabilize that, but it's the lack of communication and knowledge sharing that I resent. It wasn't until days after the hospital that I realized that everything with my boobs was normal.

Also, I'm just gonna throw it out there that between seeing two lactation consultants, not only did they not tell me that colostrum is just minor dribbles, but that when your milk comes in, it comes in with a furious vengeance. Thanks for sending me on my merry way and totally not preparing me for a night of painful engorgement and fever. Not thinking it would come in on day 2.5 we didn't have a pump and in the middle of the night I wake up with mega painful boobs; huge and solid as rocks. Alice cant even get a handle on them they are so swollen. The swelling has even travelled down into my arms and they too are feeling hot and bruised. It was crazy. Luckily the public health nurse called just as I was consulting Dr Google and said take some ibuprofen, massage them in the shower, and pump out. Ok daddy, make a run, get the drugs and the pump, and sure enough the relief after pumping was amazing. I was sure to keep on top of emptying them after that.

Anyway, big digression. So night one was sleepless. Between, blood glucose checks and feedings every three hours and my own vitals every four hours there was maybe 15 to 30 minutes of dozing. Also, I was really itchy, but I kind of thought that was still rash related so what could they do? Should have said something and got some anti itch drugs, because apparently the itch was from the hospital meds. Also, they had these pumps on my legs to keep them from swelling and they were the worst things ever! Super itchy themselves and sweaty and noisy and super uncomfortable. Everything else was fine, I just wanted those damn pumps off. Besides, they did nothing for the swelling anyway. Needless to say, despite not having to share a room, the night was sleepless and long.

Alice, on the other hand, was great through it all and already I could tell that she's a smart cookie. She caught on so quickly to what everything meant. When someone started playing with her foot she would frown and cry knowing that it meant she was going to get poked. And being unswaddled she immediately started sucking knowing it meant she was going to eat. And also knowing that sucking on dribbly boobs wasn't half as satisfying as the 15 cc bottles of formula. My clever little girl!

So, now its 6 in the morning and finally I feel like I'm maybe able to get an hour of sleep, but then breakfast comes and they are polishing the floors and sleep is not gonna happen. The good thing about this day is that Alice's sugar stabilizes even though the breast feeding thing still is not really happening. They get me up and about and although I feel like I'm 100 years old and basically have to shuffle to get about it's surprisingly doable. They pull all my catheters and take off the stupid itchy leg pumps! Thank god! And all of a sudden the itchiness and nausea is gone and I can eat and drink and get out of bed all on my own. So, the whole c-section part of this doesn't seem so bad. And the best part of feeling better is being able to go and see Evan, finally!! I have felt super guilty about the poor little guy over in the NICU and all I've been able to do is look after Alice. Luckily, Matt was super dad from the get go and spent most of yesterday with the little guy while I was bed ridden. So Nana shows up and looks after Alice and Matt helps me trundle down to the NICU. (Long walk for post surgery but we were smart and brought a wheel chair for the way back)

Oh, our little guy... So tiny looking in his incubator. Luckily, Matt knew the ways of the NICU and easily changed the little guy, managing all his monitor wires, and then I finally got to hold him! Finally! In comparison, Alice was a monster baby! Anyway I will save Evan's story for another post.

Day two is full of going back and forth between babies to feed them when I can, peeing like a race horse on steroids AND diuretics, eating my fruit bouquet (yum) and some of the hospital food (yuck) because all of a sudden I'm so hungry, and taking drugs. Being hopped up on things makes functioning way easier. I walk around a lot, try to nap a little, and we take Alice for her first bath and weigh her. Right now her sugar is good, her weight is good, and if things go well she can go home tomorrow! I get the same prognosis. Good, because night two is just as bad and we have a room mate whose baby cries at inopportune times. Too baby her and Alice were not in sync. I think only the babies slept during this night. It's around four am, after feeding Alice, I decide to be a selfish mother and ask the nurses to watch her for the next 3 hours so I can try to get some sleep. And I do manage about two hours. So, considering I had barely slept the night before coming in because I was still itchy with pupps and nervous/excited I now know I can go 72 hours with sleeping for like 6 hours here and there. Good to know for the months ahead!

Day three and we are ready to be discharged around noonish. Still we hang out all day to visit with Evan and stay around for his late feeding. I will be so glad to finally sleep in my own bed even if it means jumping out of it to feed Alice throughout the night. So, finally, we leave the ward with Alice and are only then able to take her to visit her brother for the first time since their birth. It really hits me once the two of them are together that they are both ours, two of them, to take home forever. Cuddling with them at the same time was my favorite hospital memory. Seriously, still blows my mind sometimes that we have two!